Help! Heavy situation, desperately need advice.

Hi All,

My family and I go to a church here in Tokyo and try to be involved. We are particularly passionate about helping the homeless through charities like second harvest, etc.

About three months ago, my wife met a homeless lady at a conference and, ever since, we've been letting her have a meal, a bath, and a place to sleep once per week.

It was fine at first, but then came lies, demands, and increased paranoia (on her part). We spoke to our church and found she has a reputation and can become quite abusive and demanding… there have been many other families that this has happened to. When people set up boundaries, she has accused them of stealing, trying to harm her, etc. We just learned of this history a few days ago.

Needless to say, we are cutting her off the next time she visits and will not allow her in. As we have no way of getting in contact with her (she just shows up), we unfortunately will need to inform her in the lobby of our building. We live in a fairly upscale building with only three floors and no doorman. All our neighbors are Japanese, but we are foreign and our Japanese is very poor.

We were told by the church, given past behavior, to expect her to stay in the lobby for hours and that she will try to gain entry (potentially by lying to our neighbors). If we call the police, she will be able to communicate with them, but we won't.

Looking for any advice at all. Some things we've considered:

  1. Should we bring a gift to our neighbors with a letter explaining the situation (in japanese) and apologizing? I imagine they will be rightly pissed that we brought this trouble to the building, but it might be better to proactively tell the others (only 7 total tenets).

  2. Should I brief our local Koban with a letter as well and introduce my family?

  3. Should I tell my landlord / the holding company that owns the apartment?

  4. If this situation goes totally nuclear, what are the best options?

Needless to say, my family is super stressed and we have a mess on our hands. Appreciate any help Reddit can provide.

submitted by /u/MrUrusagi
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